The importance of giving and receiving service.

I recently certified as a StillBirthday Doula, this certification focuses on how to help families cope with tragic outcomes for their babies. The certification required me to read books focused on prenatal loss. One of the books I read was, I will carry you by Angie Smith. In the book Angie found herself in a dark place knowing her baby would not survive her birth. She was struggling to go about her daily tasks and take care of her other children. At one point she knew she needed help, she a had support system in place to help her, but did not want to utilize it because she wanted to be able to take care of her family herself. As I read that I felt so sad that she did not feel she wanted to use the support she had around. I understand the desire to do everything yourself but there is also a time and place for self sufficiency. Giving and receiving service are equally important. When we get offers of service and do not use them it is a loss for both us and those who are trying to serve. I had the impression last week in church to offer some self-care to a friend who has been struggling. I tend to second guess myself when I get these impressions, afraid they may not be welcome and shy away from them. I have been working on taking opportunities to grow my service love language, this does not come naturally to me. So, I sent her a message thinking she may not respond to it but she was very excited to get a chance to get a massage. I was so glad she accepted and after her massage I felt just as good as her. To be able to do something for her that was tangible and hopefully helpful in bringing her some peace. It gave me a chance to grow in my empathy and care that will be so important as a StillBirthday Doula.